A Little Something.

It's so hard to tell and convince my friend that things are going to be okay when she's already falling and slowly sinking into depression. Even though I was in such a state before, I couldn't and don't know how to tell her about my experience as an encouragement to her. She takes advices but she kept telling me that it's so hard to let go. She's in too deep. Though she reminds me of who I used to be back then.

I was hurt by a guy. No, we were never an item. He treated me really nice. Probably too nice til people thought that we were a couple. I used to tell him everything about my problems and stuff like that. He'd always be there for me. Then there was a misunderstanding between us. We both lost trust in each other and arguments started to happen almost everyday. I prayed to God, hoping things would get better. It didn't. It got worse instead. Many unanswered prayers. I had thought that God is punishing me for not obeying Him.

I tried to make myself feel better by loitering around the malls and just..... be somebody else. I took alcohol and tried to get drunk. Hopelessness was all I felt.

I used to have really bad and negative thinking like, no one understands me. No one knew how I was feeling. They didn't notice the change in me. Nobody cared. I felt like I was in this thing alone all along.

As I calmed myself down, I decided that I need a break.

I never knew I'd end up going to Generation Concert after being invited by Venetia. She's always been the one who invites and encourages me to go to such events. But I had really wanted to not go.

"I'm expecting God to change me that night," Venetia said before the concert. I thought to myself, "Yeah, this is it." Somehow she inspires me in a way.

I was very much expecting God to change me that night. And He did. Pastor Dave was great. It was as though God was speaking through him. Everything made sense to me. I prayed, "God, restore me and change me from the inside out." Then I accepted Christ and rededicated myself to Him. Finally no distractions whatsoever. Now get lost, devils!

It's only the beginning, I know.

He would do whatever it takes to bring us back to Him.

As I think back of what happened, I had totally forgotten about God. I went to church every sunday but I never knew the meaning of my life. I was, all along, trying to impress and be accepted by the world.

I think I see the different view of Life now. (mentang-mentang menganggur this HAHA) But praise God and I give thanks in every circumstances for I've learned to lean unto Him whenever things go wrong. Jesus Christ has overcome the world!

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I think I'm off-topic already. But then it's good to share a bit of my testimony, ey?

Relationships. As in, boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. Blah. I used to have a boyfriend when I was in Form 4. He said it was love at first sight. (it's stupid I know) I actually said yes when he asked for a chance. He was so sweet and caring. I began to depend on him alot. I found out things about him later on. I should have seen it coming. We broke up two weeks later. Yes, you heard me. (you can't hear me?) Two weeks.

Hatred. I thought that he was such a hypocrite. And a desperado.

Yeah I know I'm also imperfect. So much to learn. Now I believe in God's timing.

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Supernatural

Her headaches are constant increasing in pain
Each passing day
She cant even manage to stand on her own its gotten so bad

You think in saying there's no use in praying
But still she bows her head
So she can say
Thank you for just one more day

Supernatural patience
Graces her face
And her voice never raises
All because of a love never let go of

He has every reason to throw up his fists in the face of his God who let his mother die
Through all the prayers and tears, she still passed in pain anyway

You think in saying theres no use in praying
But still he bows his head
So he can say
Thank you for ending her pain

Supernatural patience
Graces his face
And his voice never raises
All because of a love never let go of
Never let go of

He is teaching me
What love really means