i think its time that i give up trying
trying to fit in
cos i was never meant to be
never meant to be...
how did we get here anyway?
was it you?
was it me?
i gave up searching...
i'm letting go...
but trusting the big guy
goodbye, world!
lol
pride...sigh
many thought they don't have it because pride has taken over them.
------
have not been online since friday due to powercut (for 6 hours straight!)
then the comp may be having PMS
tried to start it but it wont
if you're planning to move to Likas,
NO.
trust me.
streamyx doesn't work that well in my area either
there's always a powercut now and then
at least 10 times in a year, maybe?
and its not just a short one.
ok. fuh. need to stop complaining.
i had like...a bowl of tom yam yesterday
though mom forbids me to take any spicy food
just because i had too much spicy food
heh.
i'm going to fly to kl this thursday night
so anything just call or text me k.
May you rest in peace, Stephanie Lip.
when can i have sushi???
its been so long since someone made me smile like thisssssss
=) *shows off dimples*
------
adam sandler + rob schuneider = AWESOME!
------
it's friday again! so fast.................
my boss and her husband (my other boss. lol) went to HK!
so my colleagues and i had pretty much fun today....heehee
please go watch moymoypalaboy on youtube!
they're so funny and adorable at the same time...hahaha
------
going to see aaron and bernice soon! OHOHO.
but sorry guys i cant make it to the graduation dinner. =/
see you guys when i come back from kl then...
rise up
Don't let your heart be troubled
This world will never keep you down
It will never keep you down
Yes.
I heard you.
of decisions.
"trust in my perfect timing..."
i remained silent, with a heavy heart.
still feeling uncertain...
God, you must be kidding.
my heart seems to be beating faster than usual.
sleepless nights...
it must have been your plan all along.
"Duuuh." - Patrick
i could hear people singing their hearts out.
what am i doing here?
i could not concentrate.
maybe i should walk out.
but i just stood there.
i closed my eyes, recalling the conversation with Sam not too long ago.
"I...dunno" was all i could say.
my mind went blank.
i didnt want to think, i guess.
it was definitely mind-provoking.
i couldnt stop thinking about it.
now what, God?
what are you trying to say?
he continued to share, as i debate with myself in my head.
i almost cried but i had no idea why i wanted to cry. -.-"
"...you gotta ask yourself why"
why?
what are my reasons?
do i really need a reason?
is this what you call blind faith?
if i do have a reason, is it greater than any problems?
ugh, i hate you Sam.
kidding. lol.
watermelon
have you ever asked someone..
what is it that you don't like about me?
or..
do you see any attitudes or behaviours that are offensive or dishonoring to you, others, or God?
its kinda hard for me to ask that question cause...
ppl will tell me all sorts of things...
and i'm afraid to hear the truth!
what if they say i'm bitchy?
have i offended them in any way before?
woah... makes you think!
but come to think of it...
if you ask your closest buddies that question...
they point out your weaknesses
which leads you to realization...reality check
then you can improve in certain areas
though it can be quite dangerous also
extra emotional ppl(like me) can get depressed easily
(i'm trying to overcome in that area)
but i'm quite ready to take the "hit"
i know i wont be ready til i take a step forward
it is by His grace that i am able to do what i'm doing
taking in rebukes...and learn from it
if He's not in the picture, i would be condemning myself everyday
and still make the same mistakes
when some ppl rebuke me...
really sakit hati, boss
cried myself to sleep oh.
while thinking whether what they said is true.
little did i know, He is changing my heart.
i began to see a clearer picture.
indeed what they said is true. (lol)
and He enabled me to take the rebuke with a smile
cause i know He has better plans for me.
i was created for a purpose greater than self.
i dont want to look to the left or right.
dont want to see what other ppl have that i dont.
i'm sick and tired.
i wanna wake up kicking and screaming.
my heart is...
this heart it beats,
beats for only you...
this heart it beats,
beats for only you...
this heart it beats,
beats for only you...
my heart is yours...
the great white whale.
God has been showing a lot of things lately.
So much I dunno where to start.
I know He is changing my heart and I must say it's a painful process.
It's as if He's peeling away layer after layer of wrong thinking, wrong values, and wrong desires.
And something I thought I didn't have in me.
He's whittling away my pride, at the same time awakening within me.....
...a desire.
It was a letdown. Big time.
Who would have thought...?
Only He alone knows.
pass me by
i rarely get so frustrated...
i wanted so much to punch that wall with my fist
then again...whats the point of hurting myself?
AHHHHHHHH i'm supposed to go for sunday service!
what am i doing at home?
right. rest.
its a girls thing. =)
thanks to john my purse got hole liao...
went to little italy last night...
but so full...
sigh...... come to me, money...
15 days til i get my salary! wahahaha
then i'll be flying to kl...
call me out, PPL!!!!
-----------------edited
went to church like... about 12pm...
hahaha
powerhouse olympics...
period cramps all the way.....cis
terus no mood bah.
anyway i'm surprised and happy for garry (meow~) and toh khiing that they got their very own handphone!
terus lah grab their numbers. hahaha
this john wong... tonight go out makan again...
always ajak me at the wrong time...
sigh...
my purse so "dry"......
JIA JUN HELP MEEEEE~~~~~~~~
Kau Ilhamku
boss went a lil crazy yesterday.
she really can sing!
and i'm really surprised that her husband knows how to sing canto!
he's not chinese by the way...
Alan Tam and Beyond oh. don play play. hahaha
it was fun i guess...cos ada buffet!
eat all you can!wahahaha
but the japanese food not nice.
felt a lil dizzy due to the smoke though.
wah...once they know can smoke in the room HABIS LAH buy more ciggies.
breathe in secondhand smoke for the whole day and night.
I CAN DIE.
the most requested song for the night?
Sayang Kinabalu.
hah.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAPP(DAUN) AND ANDERSEN(KANG)!
weeeee see you guys soon!
i'm coming to conquer KL! wahahaha
update from work!
30 mins to go!
wahahahahahaha
going to kkbox karamunsing after this for a farewell thing.
guess what.
i didnt have lunch today. was so busy.
thank God for banana cake and biscuits...yay
actually i'm using a colleague's comp now.
she's reading the newspaper so....yeah
my eyes feel heavy already......
how come the internet on my phone so sloooooooow
ah... gotta go
much LOOOOVE~~~~~
I LOVE YOU DANNY GOKEY!!!!! =D
he totally made my day...!
he danced!!! wahahahha
so cute! <3
Dead and Gone
I've been travellin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone...
the burning bush
Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger, to be stronger
Hey ungraceful I will teach you
To forgive one another
...
Hey Unfaithful
Hey Ungraceful
Hey Unloving
I will love you
meaningless
its funny that one can still feel lonely in the midst of a crowd.
hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku.
hanya engkau...
saturday
prac on guitar while watching the law of ueki... =)
now i'm thinking what to do for the rest of the day...
cant go out shopping with daniel...
so...
i think...
i'll dream on...
korean food anyone?
or japanese?
"Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live" - Tuesdays with Morrie
That got me thinking.
So much I wanna say but I'm so bad at putting my thoughts into words.
Recently I've read Mitch Albom's books titled For One More Day and Tuesdays with Morrie.
Now I'm reading Five People You Meet in Heaven.
I remember my sis Kristen recommended the book to me but I never touched it til recently.
And all I can say is that... I almost cried reading one of his books. In my office. LOL
Yes I get very bored so I always bring a book with me. with snacks. hohoho
My boss(a lady) is often not around(busy woman)
So what can I do with 3 other colleagues in the office? =/ Nothing much.
Thank God for Cake Mania on my comp! huahuahuahua so addictive
I do have work to do lah but so far I've done most of it
Let boss went through everything today
"Sabar kau", she said. haha
Apparently she speaks Mandarin, Malay, English, Hakka, Canto?(dunno what else she knows) VERY fluently. tsk tsk.
Probably I'll start travelling with her in April. Landscape projects. fuh~
And I'm designing shirt for the office management so Yay! got uniform soon =)
I'm also doing the trees symbols for future landscape plans use. (so next time can copy&paste saja on the comp. no need to draaaaaaw....get it?)
So far I've learned about softscapes and hardscapes.
It's been good...so yeah...
ta.
-------
Oh ya. Half of the people here smokes(including boss) IN the office!
No air, No air
Just needed to tell you that. That's the thing I really hate.
I dont wanna die from secondhand smoke plsthx
Someone smoked vanilla flavoured ciggies somemore.
To me it has the worst smell ever!!! mau muntah.
Conclusion is.... there are 2 things that I look forward to during work.
- LUNCH
- 5.30PM sharp. GO HOME!!! (you see, they have this little machine that requires your thumbprint when you arrive AND leave the office. quite cool but...)