i've spent the last couple of nights in connie's house

• went swimming in the middle of the night (which was around 12 something...and it was freezing cold)
• the next day went to CP JUST to buy pudding and jelly and other snacks to survive in the house...walked down and up the hill...went to swim (this time with joey, and she taught me to swim like a frog)
• the very next day, which was this morning, went for breakfast with powerhouse, then to e city to play serious sam but connie and i didnt join the game because we dunno how to play and definitely not interested to.
• and now... here i am blogging about what i did for the last few days because there's nothing to do now...and i'm dead bored...anyone please, please, please call me. and talk to me. cry to me. laugh WITH me. or whatever.

alright... i'm done with this post. see ya'll around.

of college life.

it's still hard to mix with some other ppl in college. not to mention those in different departments. heh. some are actually nice ppl but it's just the way they talk that makes me sad. overall they make good friends. most of them are christians, i heard, but not strong christians as i can see.

do pray for me. it's not easy. i thank God for theresa. so far she's the only one who can support me, spiritually. and it's always good to have at least one person to support you wherever you are. at home i cant. and i'm desperate.

12.25am.




i'm very tired.

this is where i feel most sane. that's right.

but what? i'm here to vent.

ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

i cant believe that i'm falling for that. don worry, i still trust you. i still do. and things aren't going to change, i promise. but somehow it affects me. =(

i dunno why, but it hurts. and i'm sinking in again.

i didn't mean to sound emo, ppl. it just happens once in a while.

RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

please don't haunt me again. or else i'm going to cut you into pieces and roll you up like sushi. oh yes i will.

Do you dress attractively or dress to attract?

God has been good.

Revival Rally was awesome! Well, to tell you the truth, I've never seen or witnessed anything like that before. Such great FAITH. It was crazy. And I was very much excited to see the miracles that took place in that hall. I could see tears of joy and well,.....joy.


I wish my family was there.

Oh, the worship was great as well despite the same songs being played over again (Aaron).

He is good and His love,
Endures forever,
Forever...

As we sing this song,
Let Your glory fall
As we give You praise,
Let Your kingdom come...

Your kingdom come, Your will be done...
On earth as it is in Heaven...

Faith.

happy mother's day!

happy mother's day, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, friends, aunties and uncles, gung gung and po po...

its now 8.55pm and i feel like sleeping already...yep...tired... and SO not looking forward to tomoro's classes...rar...no not because i'm too tired but this particular rude guy that i'm trying to avoid...

whatever it is i'm just going to ignore him. yes. muahahaha

today's prog i enjoyed most was the dance by PH! yay... dunno why i just love to watch ppl dance...modern dance la... erm... apa pun boleh la... but watching PH dance makes me feel.....proud...hehe... yeap you all danced very well! well, maybe my passion isn't really dancing nor singing even though i like both...i just don have the patience also la...hehe...

me learning to draw and paint is different... i try to do the best...and it concerns me most...

i heard something from someone that made me 'terasa'... its as if i'm the 'trouble' in someone's family now...uh oh...

bad things continue to come...

















but God never leaves.

The fact is...

Christians, they all struggle.

-------------------------------

i can't help it but i see ppl hurting each other everyday. unintensionally.

or. they just don't realise it.

even though deep inside i know that they still care, the anger is still there. of course you can't tell by the look on her/his face. i bet they wouldn't like to hear compliments such as 'predictable'. i dunno, but this is what i went through.

i've tried to hurt somebody. i did. and i'm glad things are ok after i apologized and all that. second chances don't come that often OK? but as i said, mind is a battlefield. what about the anger and hurt that's buried inside? nobody knows. nobody except God alone.

and i'm so proud of jia jun. love you too, connie.

It is not easy to share. damnit.

it takes courage la wei. BUT. i understand the consequences of keeping it too long to self. i know how hard it is for one to share it all out just so you can be accepted by the society (!?) all over again.

i wanna laugh my heart out

hello.

college life is getting better i guess. at least i get to know a new fren. better than i dunno anyone and always alone hor. HOR?

i'm taking 5 subs this semester which is bm (for your info, i got a D7 in spm), pengajian malaysia (HISTORY!!!! GRARRRRR), english (i cant believe i have to take this either!), moral (oh i learned ALOT today...very funny) and last but not least, cartoon character (it was funny too).

the first day of orientation. it was erm..... not very good. why? when i went in the function hall where all the new students were, there was a COMPLETE SILENCE. ah it was damn awkward. everyone sat a few chairs from each other. i tried to not make any sound either. HAHA. so that was my first day in college.

then the next day i went to CHURCH CAMP! WEEEWAAAWUUUWIIIIIWOOO!!!!!!!!! heehee i had an awesome time in kundasang. lalalalala... and i'm GLAD it ended. yes i'm so glad. oh well... talk about being discouraged or whatever it is. Mind is a battlefield. thanks for the book, suz.

for the first time i'm looking forward to tomoro. i mean college. the lecturers are all funny ppl. yep.

It's Wednesday!

...and i'm going to college tomoro.

excited? no. not really. dunno.

instead of preparing for college, i'm rushing to prepare for church camp. hah. not really excited bout that either. but...

oh, i love this song. hurt by thousand foot krutch.

i just had tom yam. ah, satisfaction. i know......temporary.

anyway, what would you do when you feel lonely?

cry? take a walk? go for a drink with friends even though you don't feel like it? listen to songs even though it doesn't help? watch movies? stare at nothing and think what went wrong?

i did all of the above whenever i feel lonely. and still i couldn't open up myself in front of someone. as in, powerhouse. none of them i could open up to. maybe i would if venetia was here.

nobody knows what exactly i've been through for the past few months. yeah, blame myself for not sharing to someone. i just can't. i've been also having on/off relationship with God. and.....its bad.

what more, i've been putting on a mask all along... still i wanna help. so i'm glad that God still uses me. but i'm a hypocrite. I"M A HYYYYYYPOOOOOO......................................................

oh...have you ever felt like killing somebody? i have.

sometimes i can't help but feel REEEAAAALLY annoyed by some people but NO, i never wanted to kill them. em... only when someone hurt me. emotionally, not physically.

so yeah, i had wanted to kill this particular guy cause i hated him SO much. ROAR. but i've forgiven him. though he said i've built a wall between us. maybe its true. i don't hate him anymore lah just that i find it hard to treat him like a friend. i feel uncomfortable even when he sms me. RAR. and it's just the way he talks that annoy me. most of the time he ask and say things that are nonsense and unbelievably unnecessary.

GRAR.

and so......there are times like this, like that, a time for everything.